Surrounded and Alone: Thoughts on Suicide and Chester Bennington
Torment. That is what rages in the heart of someone who is so broken that they can't see anything outside of their own pain.
The topic of suicide has been heavy on my heart for a while now, so when I learned that this past week, Chester Bennington, the lead singer of Linkin Park, took his own life, my heart ached.
Not long ago, Linkin Park put out a song called Heavy, and I can honestly say (minus the one curse word), this song has become one of my favorites. Now, after hearing of Bennington's death, the song has a resonating affect that keeps bringing me to tears.
The point of the song… holding on to more than you can handle and if you can find the strength to just letting it go, you will be set free.
He knew the answer to his pain, and he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He chose death instead.
I can't imagine the torment he must have felt that lead him to this point.
I'm not going to take this where most Christians would. Normally this is the point where the writer would transition to pointing to Christ and saying that He can bring you deliverance and heal your hurt, taking that pain away forever. That fact is 100% true. I have no idea if Bennington had a relationship with Christ or not. Maybe if he would have known the comfort of Christ, things would have ended differently for him. But what about the person who already knows that fact; the person who is a follower of Christ and still just wants to end it all?
The statistics associated with suicide are staggering:
- Every 16 minutes, someone takes their life.
- 44,000 lives are lost to suicide every year in America alone.
- Suicide is one of the top ten leading causes of death in our country.
- To date, over 23,000 deaths have accused this year alone, due to suicide.
These statistics are the same in and out of the church.
For Example:
When I was in high school, I got called into the school office during an evening soccer game. My mom had called saying a good friend of my brothers named Andy had committed suicide. Andy had grown up in a Christian home and went to a private Christian school, and truth be told, I had a huge crush on this dude. He married young and, for reasons I can't remember, the marriage ended; a life event that completely wrecked him. Though he had a foundation of truth, he couldn't see it anymore. It was all covered by a dark veil.
When the marriage ended, he asked my brother, Caleb, to move in with him. On a day like any other, Caleb walked into Andy's room to steal a pair of socks, like all good roommates do, and it was then that he found the suicide note on the dresser. After making a couple of calls, he jumped into his truck and drove around to the places they would normally hang out. He found Andy's abandoned truck near a cemetery, and after additional calls to the police and Andy's family, the search began. It wasn't long before my brother heard the screams of Andy's father who had just found his child, dead, with Bible in hand, the unity candle from his wedding near by, and a gun at his feet. My brother told me that he ran to Andy's father and they both collapsed on the ground sobbing. Minutes later the police escorted them both off the property.
Andy died just shy of his 21st birthday.
Though he knew Jesus, death still seemed better. Though he had a foundation of hope, all he could see was despair from losing his marriage.
Andy had mentioned Philippians 1:22 in his note,
“For me to live is Christ, but to die is gain.”
However, he didn't focus on the living, he focused on the dying.
In the Bible, there are moments when great men still consider or even take their own lives. Some just long for death to take them. One that stood out to me the most was in 2 Corinthians 1. Paul is writing to the Church of Corinth to encourage them in their suffering. That chapter is most famous for verses 3 and 4, which speaks of how God comforts us in our afflictions so that we can comfort others, but look on to the second half of verse 8 and the beginning of verse 9...
“For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death.”
Saul, a man who was the most unlikely to be moved by God, was touched in such a powerful way and had the most radical conversion. His name was changed to Paul and the path he blazed for Christ is one that is unmatched by anyone else in the Bible, in my opinion. BUT, with that path came such persecution and heartache.
He ached to be free from his pain, but he knew staying on this earth, though it would be hard, needed to happen in order for the lives of others to be touched around the world. He saw the bigger picture and he was able rely on God for his strength. That’s where the second half of verse 9 is so beautiful.
“…But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.
”
You see, your hurt is meant to draw you closer to the Father so you can rely fully on Him. I think as Christians we all know that to be true, yet the suicide rate among believers is the same as the general population. Every 16 minutes someone takes their own life. That means that in the time it has taken me to write this, three souls left this earth.
I’m not an expert or a therapist, but at the end of the day, I believe the biggest key to suicide is this:
Isolation.
People feeling alone, abandoned, forgotten, cast aside, ridiculed, or looked down upon. All feelings that cause one to draw into themselves and cut other people off from their problems.
Suicide is a lonely death, not just because of how it occurs, but because of the loneliness that leads up to the belief that death is the only option. How many weeks, months, or years does one silently suffer with their inner demons in complete isolation? And as believers… shoot, as HUMAN BEINGS… what are we doing to stop it?
My heart aches for Chester Bennington and those who were close to him. He lived alone, even though he was surrounded, and he died alone. I read that his band mates knew of his demons but were unable to help him. Though he was surrounded, in his own mind, he was completely isolated.
We need to open our eyes to those around us and speak into their life in a way to bring them hope. Be Jesus to someone who can’t see.
If you are reading this and feel so lost that you have only one option left, please know… You are not alone in any of your suffering! You are not isolated.
To everyone else reading this, this isn’t an informational post with a sad story in the middle, this is a call to action! Open your eyes to those around you! People in every circle you have are suffering from something, many times, all they need to know is that someone else cares. You don’t need all of the answers, you might need to just be willing to cry with someone and feel with them. Be present in their life! The enemy is there to steal, kill and destroy, and having someone end their life is his ultimate victory. Take up arms and battle for those who can’t battle for themselves. Cover them in prayer and encouragement. That alone may be enough to show someone that they are not alone. That may be all it takes for them to take a step forward, away from death and into life.
Pray. Encourage. Listen. Don’t let those around you suffer alone.
If you, or someone you know struggles with thoughts of suicide, please contact the Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
