Letting Go: 4 Keys to Moving On From Whatever Crushed You
There is a moment in time when suddenly, things make sense. Your mind seems to clear and the weight that has been pushing on your chest feels like it has been lifted. Suddenly, you feel like you can breathe again.
This week, that moment came.
Don’t get me wrong, there is still pressure from other things. My work is crazy and I told a friend of mine a couple of days ago that I was having trouble formulating a full sentence when I spoke because my brain was so foggy with all the “open files” in it. Planning 13 weddings, putting together a women's retreat, running a business, starting another business, building some websites, and being a stay-at-home mom will do that to you.
That doesn’t make it bad… I’m just honest when I have a mental information overload!
But even in the midst of all of the chaos, I still had a breakthrough. I found my balance again. The weight was lifted, and breathing got easier.
How? I let go! I chose to walk away from certain things that were consuming my heart and distracting my mind from what really matters. I chose to loosen my grip and let the sand from my current wilderness fall to the ground where it belongs.
1. I LET GO of my emotions.
No, I’m not saying go cold and heartless. I’m saying to let go of sadness. There becomes a point in your struggle and brokenness where your sadness isn’t resonating from pain, your pain is driven and is currently being caused by you holding onto your sadness. The same goes for guilt, shame, resentment… find a negative emotion and throw it in here and the truth will be the same. When you hit that point, It’s time to let it go and move on. The reason this is so hard: it means you may have to mentally forgive. This is a process, but starting it is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. This will make more sense in point #3.
2. I LET GO of the “Christian Stereotype”
I confided in my therapist that I wanted to start writing. Her response to me was this:
“If I come across anything you have written and it’s full of ‘christianese’ crap, I will hunt you down and slap you upside the head!”
She is the most random 65+ year old woman I have ever met in my life and I love her for it!
What did she mean by that? Don’t try to fit everything in a mold that doesn’t exist. We all have stereotypes that we fear. Mine was being divorced. I felt like every time I walked into church, I had the word “DIVORCED” stamped across my forehead. I am positive no one in my church sees me that way, but it was still a thought because I felt like I didn’t fit into the mold. The truth is, there are no perfect molds, there is only Biblical truth. Molds are built out of judgment. If you have a fear of no longer fitting into the right stereotype, your fear isn’t coming from truth, it’s coming from the knowledge that judgment from others is on the other side of that mold. God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and love, and of a sound mind. ( 2 Timothy 1:7). We do not need to hold onto the a fear of being a statistic or a stereotype. I can’t let myself worry about other people's view, and neither should you.
3. I LET GO of having to be right.
When you have been hurt, you want the person who caused that pain to acknowledge it. To see how they contributed, how they were wrong, and how it has caused you pain. When that acknowledgement doesn’t come, anger rears it’s ugly head. Now, I am not someone who has to be right all of the time, but when I am, I tend to want to fight tooth and nail to get my point across. That fight will build resentment. It will harden you to where you can’t see outside of yourself. The truth is, even if you think you are right, you have to accept within yourself that the other person may never see it your way. They may FOREVER think that you are wrong. If you hold fast to the need to be right, the conflict or heartache will forever be on the forefront of your mind.
4. I LET GO of thinking the storm is all there is.
It’s storming at my house right now… literally. About an hour ago the rain started to come and the wind was blowing. As the lightening and the thunder rolled overhead, I did what any normal Kansas girl would do: I went outside! It’s a midwest thing, we like to go out and watch the storm that may very well take us to meet Jesus!
As I stood on my deck and the rain was falling, I looked straight up into the sky. As drops of water hit my face, directly above my head was one small split in the clouds and through it, I could see one bright, single, solitary star!
My point… no matter what storm you are in right now, you need to always remember that there is a full galaxy of wonder and beauty just a few thousand feet up. In the grand scheme of space, those thousand feet are nothing.
Your hurt and pain is just for a season. It won't last forever, but it can resonate longer than it needs to. Don’t let it. Choose to let it go. Choose to be strong and walk away from your emotions, your fears, your stubbornness, and your narrow mindedness. Take that baggage off of your shoulders.
If you can do that, suddenly, you will be breathing easier too. Your steps will be lighter, your motivation to move forward will be stronger, and your faith that God is going to provide for you will be deeper. You will regain your footing and everything in life will seem more balanced again. Is this a permanent fix? I have no idea, but it's working for me today and I can only worry about one day at a time. There may be times in the future when I am going to have to give myself a pep talk on letting things go again, but that is okay. It's healthy. It is what will help make me whole.
So my question to you is this....